


Lost Him

by lostinmymindforever



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Wincest, Unrequited Crowley/Dean Winchester, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-16
Updated: 2014-10-16
Packaged: 2018-02-21 10:36:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2465144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinmymindforever/pseuds/lostinmymindforever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm a demon. I shouldn't be heartbroken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost Him

**Author's Note:**

> Companion piece of [No Mercy](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2462849)

I'm a demon.  
I shouldn't feel like this.  
I shouldn't feel like my heart was ripped out of my chest.  
I shouldn't feel his loss like a bloody human.  
Of course he'd turn on me.  
Of course he'd end up back with his brother.  
I should have known that would happen.  
Those two menaces can't be kept apart.  
It was stupid of me to think that things would be different.  
But Dean...  
I had so many plans for the two of us.  
The things we were going to do.  
He fought me at every step.  
Doing whatever he wanted.  
Not caring about my plans.  
Not caring about all I had done for him.  
I should have known.  
Watching him go off with Sam...  
Well watching Moose drag him away in chains...  
I lost him.  
I'm starting to believe I never really had him.  
But part of me still wonders.  
What I could have done differently.  
What I could have said to keep him at my side.  
Okay, true, I am partially to blame for losing him.  
I did contact Sam.  
I just thought that Dean would come back to me.  
That he'd see I was only doing what was best for him.  
For us.  
It backfired.  
I lost him.  
The first good, and I cringe at that word, first good thing I've had in a long time.  
We were supposed to make the world bow before us.  
But instead...  
Instead I'm alone again.  
Dean back with his brother who undoubtedly will try and fix him.  
I don't know what scares me more.  
Sam actually finding a way to save Dean.  
To fix Dean.  
Or what I know Dean is planning.  
If Dean...  
If he pulls off what I know he wants to do...  
If he somehow is able to turn Sam...  
To get his brother to go dark...  
To be his other half in all ways...  
Not even I will be able to stand in their way.  
I don't think they've crossed that line...  
But both of them dark?  
Both of them having no remorse or guilt?  
It's bound to happen.  
I should have just killed Sam before I took off with Dean.  
Yeah, he might have hated me for a while...  
But then Sam would be gone.  
And Dean would have turned to me fully.  
But it's too late for that.  
I lost him.  
Lost Dean.


End file.
